A Revelation of Love

Hello Friends.
Today's reading was an encouraging one for yours truly. The issue of suffering and the lasting nature of God's love has been one of the more difficult aspects of my faith that I have had a difficult time in getting my arms around. John Stott helped to really put it eloquently, however, when he said that we should cling to the cross in times of anguish because it is from that unique "vantage point" that we can reflect on the meaning of our vaporous existence.

In a twist on words, I've recently "suffered" if you will because of the fact that I can truly say that God has poured out His undying love for me. It pains me to think that His mercies are new every morning even when my sin is constantly abounding all around me. And as I wait for the bottom to fall out on me because of what I do, the exact opposite happens. God's love keeps on pouring down.

So my guilt overtakes me alot and with guilt comes more sin and with more sin comes more turmoil, anguish, and suffering. But then I remember the words of some spiritual mentors, i.e. Dulla Samonim and Pastor James. More like rebukes actually.

I feel guilty because in some way, I feel that I can make myself worthy of God's love. In this context, I am really saying " I can make myself worthy of God's love through my own will and goodness." It's my pride in the most classic sense that comes in the way of my spiritual growth.

In the end, it's my own self-centeredness and false modesty that stumbles me. I really am nothing except by which God has saved me. It's when I forget and think of myself as any better that I suffer alot.

Thus I close with the awesome and scandalous nature of God's love. I could never do it myself. But like I am reminded every day, I am not Him and His ways are higher than mine.

Thanks for listening homeboys.