Sorry so late everyone. The snow is a worthy enemy that I had to overcome.
Well today's reading was truly an encouragement to me and a reminder that God is ALWAYS trying to speak to me even when I cover up my ears or when I pretend to listen and keep going on with my own ways.
That God is desiring for ME of all people to depend on Him so that He would provide me with everything I need has been so hard for me to understand. When I read this passage, I always find the cynical side of me thinking, "well God will definitely give me my daily bread, but it's going to be in one of those ways where I will appreciate it in retrospect and not in the moment." Kind of like a life-lesson that we learn to appreciate but not the amazing kind of provision that we read about every once in awhile. (like winning the lottery or getting something really awesome without having the means to get it)
So I've always taught myself to ask God for things with a grain of salt. I ask in a way where I sort of know the answer to in advance. Am I making any sense here? I'm just trying to be honest.
Reading this passage and having long talks with P.James and Dulla, I realize that this is NOT a true dependence on God for his awesome provision and how I am actively limiting God's amazing power. In the end, it comes down to faith.
Not to say that God is our ATM machine at all. But He is also NOT merely a God who just dispenses abstract answers to prayers. He actually does and LONGS to provide.
My problem has always been, where do I draw the line between sounding too greedy and asking with a right and reasonable heart? Should I even be reasonable when I request amazing things from God or am I just setting myself up for heartache or failure?
But reading this and reflecting on talks with others, I know that no matter what- I can never be perfect and God does not expect me to be. He expects me to depend on Him and be satisfied with what He gives because His ways and thoughts are so much higher than mine.
Please pray for me to stay encouraged and above all to have PEACE with God's plans. And also pray that I will never contain God in the box of my own cynicism or doubt.
I don't know what will happen or how God will provide, but I know that He will never despise an earnest request and that He loves me no matter what.
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I'm reminded of the importance of living in the "now" and walking with God throughout the day. The flip side is not trusting God and worrying about grabbing as much manna as we can only to find it spoiled tomorrow.
When we look to God daily for our provisions it is much easier to realize all the blessings we have received. It is when we worry about tomorrow and focus on what is yet to come that we overlook all that has already been given. I am definitely guilty of this.
On my way to pick up Caleb and Jacob from school, I heard from Dr. Gary Chapman(?) about giving. There are three ways that you can deal with money; save, spend, and give. What would you choose to do with it?
God wants us to give. No matter how much you give, you will never outgive God. I believe that God gives us much more than daily bread if He chooses to do so Anything more than daily bread is not for ourselves to keep but to give
away.
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