1 Timothy 1:15, 16
"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners- of whom I am the worst."
I have to admit that the commotion of the Christmas holiday has got me feeling a bit flustered and distracted from God. I got into a routine of doing so much "stuff" and I easily pushed aside my focus on God. I find myself now at a point where I feel a bit out of sync with God. I not only feel the dark presence of sin crouching at my door, I feel the weight of my failures and guilt before God. Like Paul, I realize I am a sinner as I fail to meet with God daily and become more like Christ by spending time in prayer and meditation. I found myself being distracted and slipping into a sinful, worldly pattern of living. It leaves me feeling guilty and discouraged. However, even more disturbing is my response to Paul’s testimony when I first read it. It is a stark contrast to Bilney’s. Even as I read "Christ came to save sinners", somewhere deep inside me says somehow I want to try to save myself. I feel there is something I can and must do to be right with God. When I reach a point of failure, when I come to acknowledge my sin before God, my first response is: I want to try again. I feel I can become more Christ-like if I just try harder. I feel that I can live in a right relationship with God if I discipline myself more. However, I realize that I am only setting myself up for a vicious cycle that will lead to despair. I do believe in the power of will power but first and foremost I have to remember that God gave us free will to go to Him through Christ. I realize that my will comes into play according to God’s will when I willingly acknowledge my sins and give up on any notion that I can save myself. I realize that I must go to God believing that Christ is the One who saves me not my act of going to God. This is when I can quiet myself and focus on Christ again. It makes me want to know Him more and focus less on what I must and must not do. It makes me want to be more like Him and less like the world.
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3 comments:
Question: Is it our sinful nature that makes us depend on ourselves or is it just how God created us like any other animals?
Hey Lynn, thanks for the reflection. What a personal statement the apostle Paul makes in 1 Tim. 1:15-16. I think every true Christian knows this to be true of themselves, that Christ died to save sinners of whom "I am the worst". Anyone who doesn't see themselves as the worst of sinners either sees this statement as unique to Paul or they haven't lived long enough to know themselves. Until we see how deeply entangled we are in our sins, we cannot truly appreciate the sacrifice of Christ's incarnation, life, suffering, and death on the cross. And this conviction of sin is not a one time event somewhere in the past but a continual and deeper realization as we grow in grace. Bilney's testimony is not a unique example, but a universal experience of all believers in Christ, as the Holy Spirit convicted his heart of his sins and made the words of the apostle Paul come alive with personal meaning. I hope we will experience something of Bilney's experience as we engage in the meditation of God's word throughout the year!
Posted by Pastor James
What a great question, Jeetae! First let me say that there is nothing wrong with depending on ourselves in regard to our daily living. Everyone should work to make their own living and not depend on others -- children being an exception to this rule. (see 2 thess. 3:10)
Second, in regard to our relationship to God, self-reliance is fatal. Is this self-reliance rooted in our sinful fallen nature? Yes! The tree of the knowledge of good and evil was really there to remind Adam and Eve that their freedom and dominion over the earth was subject to God's greter dominion over all creation. The first original sin was the sin of independence and rebellion against God. Our inability or refusal to depend and trust in God is rooted in this first and original sin of Adam. It's like God comes to us in Christ and says, 'listen and trust in my son' and we refuse to do it because we want to go about it our own way... this pride and reject is the way of Adam in the garden. I hope this helps.
Posted by Pastor James
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